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Pick up lines - Bridesmaids beware!!

Need some entertainment to relieve some of your wedding stress? Sit down with your bridesmaids and have a laugh at these pick up lines!! Warning: Some of these are R rated!

  1. A thousand painters working for a thousand years could not create a beauty that equals you.
  2. A women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
  3. All the other girls are just rough Drafts .... but i think you are the FINAL COPY!!
  4. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
  5. Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
  6. Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
  7. Are those implants?
  8. Are those lumber jack pants your wearing? They are giving me a wood.
  9. Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
  10. Are those your breasts or are they Siamese Watermelons?
  11. Are you a bad load of laundry? You make my pants feel two sizes too small.
  12. Are you a bird collector? 'Cause you've got a nice set of hooters.
  13. Are you a god? (Um, no.) You're not? Then why do I want to kneel before you?
  14. Are you a hands-on-learner? Because I am, and I'd like to learn about you...
  15. Are you a horse? (No) Can I ride you anyway?
  16. Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
  17. Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
  18. Are you a virgin? (No.) Prove it!
  19. Are you an interior decorator? When i saw you the room became beautiful.
  20. Are you anorexic? Oh, OK, then I'll understand if you spit.
  21. Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
  22. Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
  23. Are you cold? Let me be your electric blacket. Just plug me in and I'll make you feel nice and toasty inside and out.
  24. Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?
  25. Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.
  26. Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here.
  27. Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
  28. Are you wearing space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.
  29. Are your knees dirty? I don't want to get my floor dirty.
  30. Aren't you the girl/guy who is having sex with that really good looking guy/girl? (No.) Want to be?
  31. As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!
  32. Ask a woman for the time. "10:30? So today is January 10,1999, at 10:30 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met you."
  33. Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
  34. At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
  35. Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!
  36. Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
  37. Baby, I wanna take my extention cord and stick it all the way into your electrical outlet.
  38. Baby, I would do more things to you than MacGyver in a "Do-It-Yourself Shop".
  39. Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!
  40. Baby, I'm an American Express lover.... you shouldn't go home without me!
  41. Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
  42. Baby, you are the finest thing in the world. I could put you on a place and sop you up with a biscuit.
  43. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
  44. Baby, you must be a slut because you give out more ass than a donkey dealership.
  45. Baby, you so flat you make the walls jealous.
  46. Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
  47. Baby, you're so hot, you make the North Pole look like the equator.
  48. Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
  49. Been to India? I'll get (it) India.
  50. Bond. James Bond.
  51. Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
  52. Can I add a branch to your family tree?
  53. Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
  54. Can I flirt with you?
  55. Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.
  56. Can I please be your slave tonight?
  57. Can I see your tan lines?
  58. Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Chirstmas.
  59. Can I walk through your bushes and climb your mountains?
  60. Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
  61. Champaine can be tickly, and so can I.
  62. Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
  63. Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
  64. Come on. We're leaving.
  65. Come over here and get a taste of America's Most Wanted.
  66. Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
  67. Could you tell me where they keep the rutabagas? Oh, thanks. Oh, by the way, what is a rutabaga?
  68. Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
  69. Damn! Somebody needs to write explosive on you, cuz your the bomb!
  70. Damn, I know you are not on four legs, but you look faster than a cheetah.
  71. Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
  72. Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
  73. Damn, Sugar, settle down. I'm diabetic.
  74. Did I mention that I'm the only person in the Guiness Book of World's Records actually able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
  75. Did it hurt? Woman: Did what hurt? When you fell out of heaven?
  76. Did the Lord steal the thunder from the skies and put them in your thighs?
  77. Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
  78. Did you know its a felony in this state to look that good, but if you turn around I'll let you off with a warning.
  79. Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled a 6 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Can I save your life?
  80. Did you know that Rock and Roll was originally an African American euphimism for sex?" (creepy leering look)
  81. Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
  82. Do I know you? (No.) That's a shame, I'd sure like to.
  83. Do you believe guys think with their dick? (Yeah.) Well, in that case, will you blow my mind?
  84. Do you believe in Santa Claus? Do you think that if I am good this year, he'll put you in my stocking this year?
  85. Do you believe in the hereafter? Then you know what I'm here after.
  86. Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
  87. Do you come here often?
  88. Do you go the ocean much? 'Cause you smell like the CLAM!
  89. Do you have a bandaid? Because I just scrapped my knee falling for you.
  90. Do you have a can opener? My dick is about to pop.
  91. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
  92. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.
  93. Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!
  94. Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!
  95. Do you have room in your life for another friend?
  96. Do you know anything about real estate? (Grab crotch or breasts) I was just wondering if you could tell me if this is a lot.
  97. Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.
  98. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
  99. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
  100. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you want to go upstairs and talk?
  101. Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
  102. Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
  103. Do you like anyone else in here? Well, I guess you are stuck with me.
  104. Do you like chicken? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?
  105. Do you like chips? Because if you are "Frito Lay" than I am a barrel of fun!
  106. Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let's go to my room and put our pieces together.
  107. Do you like pool, cause I've got the balls if you've got the rack. (or vice versa)
  108. Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
  109. Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
  110. Do you like whales? Well I have a hump-back at my place.
  111. Do you live on a chicken farm (girl says no) well you sure know how to raise cocks
  112. Do you mind if I end this sentence in a proposition?
  113. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
  114. Do you remember Crayola Crayons? They used to have this color...Blizzard Blue. It was my favorite color and I could never figure out why. But I just realized why, your eyes...Blizzard Blue.
  115. Do you remember me from the other night? Probably not, because we really hit it off.
  116. Do you spit or swallow?
  117. Do you think a relationship between you and I would be all sex, or do you think that there would be some depth to it?
  118. Do you wanna box? [Yes.] Well, get on your hands and knees and give me two blows to the head.
  119. Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
  120. Do you want to go swimming? Damn, there isn't a pool around... But my sheets are blue?
  121. Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
  122. Do you want to see the soles of your feet in the wing mirrors in my car?
  123. Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
  124. Do you work at Subway? Cause you just have me a footlong.
  125. Does God know you've escaped from Heaven? Here, come with me to my place. You can stay there until he calls looking for you.
  126. Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
  127. Dont you think most people who use pickup lines are dipsticks? (Yup) In that case mind if I check your oil level?
  128. Even though the ugly lights are shining bright, you still look beautiful.
  129. Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
  130. Excuse me I have a problem and I wonder if you can help me? (O.K. I'll see what I can do. What is your problem?) I have every S.T.D. in the book except for one and I think you can give it to me!
  131. Excuse me miss... Do you have a cigarette? Actually, I don't want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.
  132. Excuse me miss... Is your face so messed up because you fell from heaven.
  133. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
  134. Excuse me, but you dropped something back there Woman: "What's that?" You: "This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight."
  135. Excuse me, but you have a "dick for" on your head. [What's a "dick for"?] I'll show you.
  136. Excuse me, but you've got a Wild Blocost on your shoulder! (What's a Wild Blocost?) How much do ya got?
  137. Excuse me, do I need to buy a ticket for your fantastic voyage?
  138. Excuse me, do you have any Benedryl? No why? Because everytime I look at you I have swelling "down there"
  139. Excuse me, do you have any raisins? How about a date?
  140. Excuse me, does this tequila taste funny? (Hand them an untouched shot)
  141. Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."
  142. Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.
  143. Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me? See,I'm trying to find someone. (Who?) Any girl/guy who'll sleep with me.
  144. Excuse me, I'd like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.
  145. Excuse me, I'm putting together a list of people with whom I want to have sex, and I'll need the correct spelling of your name.
  146. Excuse me, is that your perfume that you are wearing?
  147. Excuse me, ma'am, but I've been over by the bar running some numbers, and I believe that through combining our genes, we could create a faster, stronger, smarter super-soldier for our country. Now, there remains only one way to actually create this super-soldier, but in this time of national emergency, we have all been called upon to exert ourselves to new heights. Therefore, not for me, but for America, the cause of freedom calls upon you to go home with me tonight.
  148. Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
  149. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
  150. Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...
  151. Fascinating. I've been looking at your eyes all night long. I've been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.
  152. Fat Penguin. WHAT? I just thought I'd say something to break the ice.
  153. From across the bare you looked a little on the heavy side, but as you got closer I noticed you were ugly too!
  154. Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
  155. Giant polar bear (What?) It broke the ice.
  156. Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
  157. Girl, yo' so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a hole filed of you!
  158. Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
  159. Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
  160. Go up to the person and ask for their hand. Draw a line across it and explain that its a really big river, and the bunny on this side (doesn't matter) really needs to get to the other side. Ask how he does it. Give cute little answers as to why the bunny can't cross the river (ie...bunny jump in river, bunny go *glubglubglub*.) When the person finally asks how the bunny is supposed to get across, give them the cute puppy eyes and say "I don't know, I just wanted to hold your hand."
  161. God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
  162. Good evening. May a thorn sit down amongst the roses?
  163. Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy: I looked at you and dropped mine.
  164. Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibly stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?
  165. Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
  166. Have you ever been hunting before? (No.) Well then how about you come up to my cabin with me this weekend and I can teach you how to stuff a beaver.
  167. Have you ever played "Spank the brunette"? Want to try?
  168. Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
  169. Have you ever seen Buttman's Between the Cheeks?" No, well let me demonstrate.
  170. Have you seen my enormous jar of "Penis Reducing Cream"?
  171. Hello, can I offer you eight inches of strength and sensitivity?
  172. Hello, I may have just met you but I feel like I have known you all my life and I love you, what hotel room should I reserve?
  173. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.
  174. Hello, well-formed Homo sapien specimen. Would you care to depart with me towards my domiciliary residence and observe a documentary of the ontogenesis of another Homo sapien individual just prior to fertilization?
  175. Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
  176. Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.
  177. Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
  178. Here's a your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
  179. Hey babe- pretend my pants is France and invade them.
  180. Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!
  181. Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
  182. Hey baby, as long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.
  183. Hey baby, I'd like to herd by cattle in your fertile valley.
  184. Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
  185. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
  186. Hey baby, you've got somthing on your butt: my eyes.
  187. Hey baby. I'm single. Do you believe that shit?
  188. Hey baby. You got a jersey? (A jersey?...What for?) Because I need your name and number
  189. Hey baby...mind if I take my pants off?
  190. Hey I see your wearing clothes, I'm wearing clothes, you know we have something in common we should get together and do something sometime.
  191. Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
  192. Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
  193. Hey, do you exercise? Can I be your thighmaster?
  194. Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your smile.
  195. Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
  196. Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
  197. Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
  198. Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?
  199. Hey, kitten. How about spending some of your nine lives with me?
  200. Hey, where did your smile go? (Check back pocket) Here it is!
  201. Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!
  202. Hey. Do you have that Hawiian Disease? What? "Comeoniwannalayya".
  203. Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
  204. Hi, do you dissect insects for scientific research? (No, why?) I thought you might want to look inside my fly.
  205. Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
  206. Hi, I'm astronomer and I've been sent by the department to examine a heavenly body named XGY8... 6... 9'er... Er, wait. That heavenly body is you!
  207. Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
  208. Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?
  209. Hi, I'm the reincarnated soul of Tai-Pong, once a starved, naked Buddhist monk. All that isolation is getting to me. Want to get down on your knees and pray?
  210. Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
  211. Hi, my name is Chris. I'm funny, financially stable, and have a very interesting DNA structure.
  212. Hi, my name is Joe Bloggs (any name!) Have you heard of me? No? Well let me take you home and fill you in.
  213. Hi, my name is Laura. I don't have a gag reflex.
  214. Hi, sorry I don't have an opening line but since you have an opening and I have a line. . .
  215. Hi. Are you legal?
  216. Hi. Can I domesticate you?
  217. Hi. I just need you to know that you can't get pregnant from anal sex.
  218. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
  219. Hi. I would like to award you the {Whatever beer we were drinking} award for looking so good. Now if you will give me your name, number and other vital statistics i would like to enter you in our grand prize drawing which will win you an all expense paid date with me.
  220. Hi. I'm a dog and I need to bury my bone.
  221. Hi. I'm horny.
  222. Hi. I'm like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.
  223. Hi. My name is {name}. I'm running for president in 2012. And I could sure use your vote. Here...write down your number and I'll call you to discuss my platform.
  224. Hi. My name is Laura. I'll be your play toy tonight.
  225. Hi. You'll do.
  226. Hi. Your name must be (your car here) because my backseat has it written all over.
  227. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
  228. How can I love you if you won't lay down?
  229. How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
  230. How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized?
  231. How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh... you just look hot to me.
  232. How much did it cost? (What?) The surgery that made you so hot!
  233. How much do you cost? I've got a dollar, how much change would I get back?
  234. How was heaven when you left it?
  235. I believe that it was Socrates who opined, "Know thyself." Whelp, I already know myself, how about I get to know you?
  236. I bet you could suck Lincoln's head off a penny.
  237. I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
  238. I bet your name is Jesus, because you look like you came from heaven!
  239. I betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.
  240. I can play the 1812 Overture on a touchtone phone with my tongue.
  241. I can't believe I've been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".
  242. I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
  243. I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
  244. I don't know you, but I think I love you already.
  245. I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
  246. I had a friend who used to hand out phone cards that said: "Smile if you want to sleep with me." And watch them try to hold back their laughter.
  247. I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
  248. I had your sister last year, she sucked. Wanna defend your family honor?
  249. I have a job for you.... but it blows...
  250. I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears.
  251. I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?
  252. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
  253. I have not had sex in three years. No matter what you did, kiss me all over, dance for me, or wear provocative outfits, I would not give in. Want to test me?
  254. I have only three months to live. ..
  255. I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it's saying something right now. Put ear to watch. "It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?." [No.] "Oh..." Tap watch a few times. "That's the problem... my watch is an hour fast!"
  256. I hear there's a major problem with deforestation in the world today. Why don't we put together your chest and my nuts, and help save the world?
  257. I heard your ankles were having a party... want to invite your pants down?
  258. I hope that it would be seen as flattery.
  259. I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
  260. I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.
  261. I just got this tan in Hawai'i. Why don't you call me when you want some of this tan to rub off on you.
  262. I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
  263. I know I can't have your cherry, but can I get the box it came in?
  264. I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
  265. I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
  266. I love you, you know.
  267. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
  268. I must be a snowflake, 'cuz I've fallen for you.
  269. I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.
  270. I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.
  271. I put a drop of tear in the ocean last night for you. And I won't stop loving you until you find that tear drop.
  272. I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don?t need it after all.
  273. I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
  274. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
  275. I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.
  276. I think that your attractive and simply amazing from what I've seen so far. Can I get your number and meet your personality.
  277. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
  278. I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1.
  279. I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.
  280. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
  281. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
  282. I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
  283. I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
  284. I wonder what our children will look like.
  285. I would kill or die to make love with you.
  286. I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
  287. I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
  288. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
  289. I'd look good on you.
  290. I'd love you like a snowstorm: I'd give you 8 to 10 inches and you wouldn't be able to leave the house for 3 days.
  291. If all the stars in the sky were summed, not even words that many times stronger than "beautiful" could ever be used to describe you.
  292. If beauty were a grain of sand, you'd be a million beaches.
  293. If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
  294. If beauty were sunlight, you'd shine from a million light-years away.
  295. If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
  296. If God had a refrigerator, a picture of you would be on it.
  297. If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.
  298. If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
  299. If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, I'd hold the sky in the palm of my hand.
  300. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
  301. If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?
  302. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
  303. If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
  304. If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
  305. If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I'd have a galaxy in my hand.
  306. If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery...I would chose winning the lottery...but it would be close...real close...
  307. If I jumped on your back, would you beat me off?
  308. If I let you suck on my tongue would you be grateful?
  309. If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
  310. If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
  311. If I was a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seed?
  312. If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
  313. If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.
  314. If I were the king, and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?
  315. If I were to borrow your glasses, could I see you home?
  316. If I were to send you flowers... No wait, let me rephrase: If I were to let you such on my tongue, would you be grateful?
  317. If it weren't for that DAMNED sun, you'd be the hottest thing ever created.
  318. If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.
  319. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
  320. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
  321. If you could put a price tag on beauty you'd be worth more than Fort Knox.
  322. If you had some nuts on the wall, would they be walnuts?(yes). If you had some nuts on your chest, would they be chestnuts?(yes) If you had some nuts on your chin, would they be chinnuts?(yes) Hell no, you'd have a dick in your mouth.
  323. If you have a chance to become anything on earth what would you want to become?" [the answer] you: " well to me, I want to be your tear drop: I was born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
  324. If you know a person's name: "Hi, [name]." How did you know my name? "Isn't every beautiful girl named that?"
  325. If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
  326. If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
  327. If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.
  328. If you were a duck and I were a moose, and we had sex, we'd make a duckmoose, and it would sound like this:[make the wierdest sound you can].
  329. If you were a laser gun, you'd be set on stunning.
  330. If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
  331. If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
  332. If you were camping and woke up with a used condom inside you, would you tell anyone? (No) Wanna go Camping?
  333. If you were even half as gorgeous as me, I'd consider sleeping with you.
  334. If you were on, I would give you a ten.
  335. If you woke up in the woods with a condom in your ass would you tell anybody? Wanna go camping?
  336. If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
  337. If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep in until the afternoon.
  338. I'll bet you $10 my dick can't fit into your mouth.
  339. I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
  340. I'll make you shiver when I deliver.
  341. I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?
  342. I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!
  343. I'm a vegetarian but I'd make an exception for your meat!
  344. I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?
  345. I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?
  346. I'm an organ donor, need anything?
  347. I'm easy, but it looks like you are hard.
  348. I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! I'm gonna have sex tonight!!! (With whom?) Depends: what are you doing tonight at around 1?
  349. I'm good at math. U+I=69
  350. I'm here now. What were your other two wishes?
  351. I'm hungry and I'm on a liquid diet.
  352. I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
  353. I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
  354. I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
  355. I'm like chocolate: I go straight to your ass!
  356. I'm like Domino's Pizza: if you don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
  357. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
  358. I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
  359. I'm on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
  360. I'm sorry, but, have we met before? (No.) Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that it must have been your mom.
  361. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
  362. I'm sterile
  363. I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick, want to help me test the claim it won't kiss off?
  364. In another life I think we dated and I dumped you. But I'm thinking that that was a mistake, and now is your second chance!
  365. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
  366. Is that a fox on your shoulder, or am I seeing double?
  367. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I'd love to tap that ass.
  368. Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
  369. Is that flattery, or "flattery"?
  370. Is that shirt Camel Skin? 'Cause I'm checkin' out your humps!
  371. Is that your date, or did your brother get a new dress?
  372. Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I've been searching for!
  373. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
  374. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend here? Is s/he on the roof? (No.) Then let's go to the roof!
  375. Is your dad a terrorists? Cause you're the bomb.
  376. Is your last name Gillette, it must be because you are the best a man can get.
  377. Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
  378. It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?] No, but how about a kiss anyway?
  379. I've been a bad boy/ girl,so spank me!
  380. I've got a condom with your name on it.
  381. I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
  382. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
  383. I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
  384. Just where do those legs of yours end?
  385. Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
  386. Let's have a party in your shoes, and then invite your pants.
  387. Let's let only latex stand between our love.
  388. Let's make like a fabric softener and Snuggle(TM)
  389. Lets play "Titanic." When I say "Iceburg!" you do down.
  390. Lets skip all the bull-shit lose our inhibitions and DO what we really came here to do.
  391. Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
  392. Lie down. I think I love you.
  393. Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I'm gonna give you the blow of your life.
  394. Listen to this: my buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful boy/girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
  395. Look at my lips and your lips. They want to massage each other.
  396. Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only lovers will leave a footprint on your heart. And you my dear have left one great leap on mine!
  397. Mars? This is the advanced recon unit. Good news, I've found a couple of foxes.
  398. Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
  399. Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Super Bowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) cuz it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.
  400. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
  401. My bedroom has a very interesting ceiling. . .
  402. My cat has lovely fur. Can I see yours?
  403. My clit ring got stuck. Can you open it with your teeth?
  404. My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.
  405. My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
  406. My name is Haywood. Haywood Jablome(?).
  407. My vagina is a garden, want to shovel me out?
  408. Nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?
  409. Nice pants, can I test the zipper?
  410. Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
  411. OH GOD! OH GOD! Just practicing.
  412. Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
  413. Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
  414. Ok, quick, you go in the toilets and get me some condoms and meet me back here in five minutes... In the meantime I'll go and get you some breath mints...
  415. Ouch! My tooth hurts! Target: "Why?" Because you are soooo sweet!
  416. Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
  417. Pardon me, I don't mean to make a pass, but you must be leavin' the country if you're packin' that much ass.
  418. Pick a number between 1 and 10. Shit you lose now take off your clothes.
  419. Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
  420. Pinch me. "Why?" "You're so fine I must be dreaming."
  421. Presents the person with a single rose and say: "I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are."
  422. Puffs can guarantee a good blow. Can you?
  423. Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate... Well, here I am!
  424. Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?
  425. Roses are Red; Apples are Sour; I'll Spread my legs; And you can show me your "power"
  426. Save a horse, Ride a cowboy.
  427. Say Baby do you mind if I hangout on your stomach for a half an hour or so?
  428. Say, you remind me of a pop tart. (Why?) You're cool cause you're hot!
  429. Scientists call me a medical miracle.
  430. See these keys? Ya like em? I wish I had the one to your heart.
  431. See this pin? I want to prick you with it to see if you truly do bleed sunshine
  432. Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
  433. Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?
  434. Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
  435. Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
  436. Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  437. So baby, do you see why the girls call me tri-pod?
  438. So last night I had the same dream over and over - always the same thing, but in a different location every time. I kept dreaming that I was asking you out, but every time before you answered, I woke up, and I'm dying to know what your answer was.
  439. So there you are! I've been looking all over for YOU, the girl of my dreams!
  440. So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?
  441. So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
  442. So, tell me about yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your phone number.
  443. So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
  444. So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
  445. So, what do you like to do for fun? (Why?) 'Cause I'm gonna ask you out.
  446. Soccer players can go for 90 minutes and know 11 different positions. Just thought you should know that.
  447. Something tells me you're sweet. Can I have a sample?
  448. Speak of the devil....or should I say "Angel"?
  449. Stand still so I can pick you up!
  450. Still lookin'
  451. Still waiting for a call...
  452. Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
  453. Submitted Line
  454. Submitted Line
  455. Submitted Line
  456. That dress looks great on you... as a matter of fact, so would I.
  457. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
  458. That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
  459. That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
  460. That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
  461. That's a nice watch [Thank you] Actually, that's a nice dress. [Again, thank you] Come to think of it, everything is nice on you.
  462. The drink: \\$6. The room: $100. The night with you?: Priceless.
  463. The name is Reese, and you're lookin like someone that would suck on my piece.
  464. There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
  465. There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.
  466. There are only two beautiful girls in the world, and you are both of them.
  467. There aren't enough "O"'s in the word "smooth" to describe how smooth you are.
  468. There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
  469. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
  470. This condem (holding in hand) has your name written on it.
  471. This is incredible. This is the first time that this has ever happened to us. (What?) Each one of my 27 personalities found you cute!
  472. This isn't a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.
  473. Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
  474. Tonight, you know you will be sitting on your bed and you will be holding your pillow close to your chest and wish it were me pressing against your chest.
  475. Trust me. It will only seem kinky the first time.
  476. Two words explain me when I'm not with you. Jergens Lotion.
  477. Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
  478. Um...I need a little help with my Calculus, can you integrate my natural log?
  479. Walk up and say, "Yes?" "What?" "Oh, my friend told me that you wanted to make out with me because I'm the finest thing you have seen all night."
  480. Wanna feed my beaver some wood?
  481. Wanna get down with me like four flat tires?
  482. Wanna Lift? Your dick and my spirits.
  483. Wanna play "kite"? I lay down, you blow and we'll see how high you can make me.
  484. Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
  485. Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
  486. Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I'll put my head in your mouth.
  487. Was you father an alien? Because there's nothing else like you on earth!
  488. Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.
  489. Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
  490. Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
  491. Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
  492. Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
  493. Way to go God!!!
  494. Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
  495. Well, I AM telepathic, and i can tell that you love me. Right? (NO!) Damn, I always get "love" and "lust" mixed up.
  496. Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
  497. Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
  498. Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
  499. What do you like for breakfast?
  500. What do you think of Bill Clinton? (Answer...) Yeah, me too, but I try not to follow that stuff regarding Bill, Hilliary, or Monica. Want a cigar?
  501. What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
  502. What is long and hard, and right behind you?
  503. What is your favorite color? (Answer) Mine too!
  504. What is your first name? Hmm, that goes kinda well with my last name. (switch if female asking a male)
  505. What time do you get off? Can I watch?
  506. What time do you have to be back in heaven?
  507. What was that sound? It was the sound of my heart breaking.
  508. What'll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.
  509. What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
  510. What's that in your eye? Must just be a twinkle.
  511. What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
  512. What's the name of your perfume? "Catch of the Day?"
  513. What's your favorite position on extramarital sex?
  514. What's your name? That's a beautiful name. Can I ask you one single, impulsive question? Are you in love at the present moment? I'm not the type of guy to impede on another man's happiness but if the answer is "No" I'd like to continue with my rhapsody. Has anybody ever told you that you glide? (What?) It's a very special quality, every other girl in this place merely plods along but you glide, girls who glide need guys who make them "thump." (What's thump?) You think about him, you can't eat, you can't sleep, you watch the phone waiting for it to ring. Girls who glide need guys who make them "thump," I can make you "thump." Have dinner with me.
  515. What's your sign?
  516. When God made you, he was showing off.
  517. When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.
  518. When I marry I wonder if God will be mad that I stole one of his angels.
  519. When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
  520. When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
  521. When she asks, for a match. How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
  522. Where have you been all my life?
  523. Where's your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head. (Excuse me?) It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
  524. Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
  525. Who wants a mustache ride?
  526. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
  527. Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
  528. Why is it that every time you are around, my pants feel tighter?
  529. Will you be my derivative? I'll be the area under your curves.
  530. Will you marry me for just one night?
  531. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
  532. Would you like to actively engage in mock procreation?
  533. Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
  534. Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
  535. Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
  536. Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?
  537. Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?
  538. Wow! Are those real?
  539. Wow, you have some sweet birthin' hips.
  540. Wow.
  541. Wow. Ethnic-insensitively lame.
  542. Wow. Sacrilegiously lame.
  543. Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow.
  544. Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
  545. Yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits
  546. You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.
  547. You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 30.
  548. You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
  549. You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
  550. You are the reason men fall in love.
  551. You be the biscuits and I?ll be the gravy, let us do breakfast sometime.
  552. You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way
  553. You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible."
  554. You could make a glass eye cry...
  555. You don't look too bad, I'm guessing you only got hit once in the face with that sack of nickels, right?
  556. You had better direct that beauty and femininity somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
  557. You have beautiful hair. But it could be better. (How?) If it were spread over my pillow.
  558. You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
  559. You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
  560. You know at this angle as the lights hit your eyes [start fixing hair] I can see myself and I look great." Then smile, and sheepishly say "just kidding."
  561. You know how I am with dicks? I suck at it.
  562. You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain, well, shortages? Well, I don't even own a car.
  563. You know how your hair would look really good? [No.] In my lap.
  564. You know I'd like to invite you over, but I'm afraid you're so hot you'll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.
  565. You know that I think about you only twice a day? Once when my eyes are open, and once when they are closed.
  566. You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
  567. You know what they say about guys with big hands. [What] Big latex.
  568. You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porshe.
  569. You know, Dr. Phil says I'm afraid of commitment...Want to help prove him wrong?
  570. You know, I do sleep well with others...
  571. You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.
  572. You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
  573. You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
  574. You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
  575. You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.
  576. You look beautiful today, just like every other day.
  577. You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
  578. You look like an angel. Welcome to Earth.
  579. You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.
  580. You look like my type: nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What's wrong with my clothing?) They're still on.
  581. You look so hot that I could cook rice on you!
  582. You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
  583. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
  584. You must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the room.
  585. You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar raise!
  586. You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.
  587. You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb.
  588. You must be going to hell, because it is a sin to look that good.
  589. You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
  590. You need $20 and a friend. Give friend the $20. Walk up to target. Friend says, "You're right. Those are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen." Hands you the $20 and walks away.
  591. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you.
  592. You remind me of a magnet, because you sure are attracting me over here!
  593. You remind me of a Twinky: Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth."
  594. You say, "So, did you here the one about the guy and the girl who had the most sexual relationship?" The reply, "No". You respond, "Well then, let's go to my place and I'll tell you all about it."
  595. You should be someone's wife.
  596. You should join the circus.(Why?) So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.
  597. You should stop drinking! (Why?) Because you are driving me home.
  598. You smell wet. Let's Party.
  599. You wet? I'd bet you are after looking at me.
  600. You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?
  601. Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
  602. Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you.
  603. Your breasts remind me of Mount face should be among them.
  604. Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.
  605. Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.
  606. Your daddy must play the trumpet, because he sure made me horny!
  607. Your eyes are as blue as the water in my toilet bowl.
  608. Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I'm lost at sea.
  609. Your good looks don't intimidate me. (Walk away)
  610. Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?
  611. Your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all night.
  612. Your lips look so lonely.... Would they like to meet mine?
  613. Your name must be Mickey because your so fine.
  614. Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
  615. Your voice sounds like sandpaper grated over a cheese grater.
  616. You're a babe, right? Haven't you seen the film?
  617. You're daddy must be a hunter because he sure caught a fox!"
  618. You're daddy must be an archer because he sure shot a bulls eye!
  619. You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
  620. You're hotter than donut grease.
  621. You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!
  622. You're on my list of things to do tonight.
  623. You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
  624. You're so fine, I'd suck your daddy's dick just to get some of where that came from.
  625. You're so flat, I don't know if you're walking forwareds or backwards.
  626. You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
  627. You're so hot, I bet you could light a candel at 10 paces.
  628. You're so hot, I'd better smother you with my body before you burst into flame!
  629. You're ugly but you intrigue me.
  630. You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
  631. (Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
  632. (Blow a kiss and miss on purpose) Oops, I guess I missed, wanna try again, but a little closer?
  633. (Bump into someone) If I knew how hot you were I would have grabbed your ass instead of bumping into you.
  634. (close hand with nothing inside and give it to her) It's my breath from when you took it away (open palm while saying this)
  635. (Get as close as you can to the other, then stare at his/her lips) Can you feel it? There is some kinda sexual attraction. Can you feel it, too?
  636. (Hold up a screw) Wanna screw?
  637. (Holding your nuts) Do you want "2 CDs" (see these) for a dollar?
  638. (If s/he is looking at you)You know, my mother always told me it was impolite to stare... so what do you say we dance?
  639. (Look down at the crotch) It's not just going to suck itself.
  640. (Open and close wallet quickly) Here's my "Fine Arts Connoisseur" diploma. You sure are a masterpiece.
  641. (person walks in, and you say:) And out of nowhere comes the sunshine!!
  642. (Put your fingers on the other's nipples) Hey, here's (name), comin' at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?
  643. (stand next to the girl) Hey do you think you could ask this girl to give me her name and number? (answer:Depends on who it is) Okay but keep it quiet because she is standing right next to me.
  644. (Talk to her)Did i ever tell you you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be? (Start Singing) I can fly higher than an eagle! (talking) Because (her name) you are the wind beneith my wings.
  645. (Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
  646. (Walk up to a girl and lick two fingers and place them near her crotch. Then place the fingers back in your mouth and say . . . ) I know you!
  647. (Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Person: What are you doing?!?!? You: Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. Person: WHAT?!?!? You: Well it has to be illegal to look that good!
  648. (Walk up to them and touch them) Thank God, I thought that you were only an illusion(mirage).
  649. (while looking at stars) Baby, I didn't see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was sitting right next to me.
  650. (wiping your face), Oh I'm sorry, (wiping your face), let me clear a place for you to sit!
  651. (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
  652. [ Look at her shirt label.] When they say, "What are you doing?" You respond: "Yep! Made in heaven!"
  653. [Grab the ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
  654. [Pretend to read your hand, do so quite poorly] What is a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? (Huh?) [Lower left hand and raise right, read poorly] What's your sign?
  655. [What are you doing?] I'm taking off my shoes. [Why?] So I can take off my pants.
  656. [You] Here are my keys [Other] Why? [You] Here's the key to my house, my car,...and my heart.

Now that you are rolling on the ground from these pick up lines you can now have a few more days of stress free wedding planning. . . come back if you need more laughs!!